Here comes little naked me...

I am back, adoring fans!
As you may have noticed, my number one link is to an Ani Difranco lyrics page. No, no don’t log off. Stay with me.
You may feel scared already, but imagine how I feel. I shave my armpits, I like boys and I haven’t got anyone’s John Thomas in a jar on my mantelpiece (yet…). Yet as soon as I mention my love for Ani Difranco, it’s like there’s a giraffe in the room. I’ve slowly become used to it and have even managed to fluff around a few other music genres and artists before pulling out the big guns, but it still causes quite a stir.
My closest encounter with lesbian bashing came when I was about 17 and cut my hair, let’s just say, very, very short. I headed out with a friend and a few guys she knew who were basically “yobbos”. We were drinking in a park (oh, to be 17) and they started hammering me with questions about my hair (and natch my sexuality). Finally I told them all to “F off” and went home.
It was the one and only time I felt trapped in some bizarre Degrassi episode and/or tacky American sitcom, being pushed from wall to wall (metaphorically speaking) in the girls’ bathroom by bullies. Ok, I’m sure many others have suffered worse bullying than that, but it just astounded me the narrow mindedness (aka full of shit-ness) these guys had going on. But thanks for letting me get that memory out/the therapy.
Anyway back to poor Ani. At a work meeting a couple of months ago, one of my workmates told an Ani fact I had recently told him except (whoops!) he substituted Ani Difranco’s name with Missy Higgins. Sheesh. After I corrected him, another workmate/Neanderthal chuckled, “Same diff.”
Argh.

Who I Will Be

Part One:

So I've been wondering of late if I will ever change my ways...
I was in a cafe last week purchasing lunch (which in my work area involves minimal options - sandwich or dirty fried food).
The girl next to me ordered a seeded mustard, carrot and lettuce sandwich and a skinny soy decaf latte. :S
Now I can't decide whether I envied her willpower or thought she was the most boring person in the world who probably grows alfalfa sprouts in her kitchen and drinks Yakults at the pub.
It should be noted that my sandwich MAY have contained salami and my drink may have involved dark bubbly caffeine. But hey - it was Friday and we all need treats.

Anyway, I often question whether on my death bed i'll remember the good times of drinking copious amounts of Sauv Blanc and Coronas whilst smothering myself in cheese and salami (did I just say that out loud?) or whether I'll remember snacking on dried fruit and nuts.

Help!

Boy Confession #1

When I was about 14, I had a crush on an "older boy". He worked at a clothes store...ok it was Cotton On...and I used to go in there a lot, in the hope of running into him.
One day, I rang up and pretended I was from Australia Post and had a package to be delivered to him. So of course I needed to know what hours he was working so it could be delivered. The girl checked the roster and gave me his hours.
Who can say - L for Loser??!!!

Blog Virgin

I guess in the back of my mind I always wanted to have a blog...
I've been frequenting a few recently and imagining all the profound (and saucy) things I could say if I ever had one...and here we are - my first post!!
And, what can I tell you...?
I spent last night watching copious amounts of Sex and the City and wondering when I'm going to live in New York and write one column a week that pays for: my rent/my expensive shopping fetish/3 meals and 2 coffees out a day/and copious amounts of cocktails and Marlboro Lights. Sigh.